Jenny Lawson Quotes

On The Upside, Yesterday I Taped A Ziploc Bag To The Inside Of My Skirt So I'd Have Someplace To Store My Everything-that-didn't-fit-in-my-bra And It Worked Really Well, So Now I'm Working On A Cape Made Solely From Stapled-together Ziploc Bags. It'll Be Awesome Because I'll Be Able To See All The Stuff In My Ziploc Pockets (unlike My Purse, Which Just Eats Everything, Like A Tiny Black Hole). And It'll Also Double As A Rain Poncho. And I Can Put A Stiletto Knife And A "How To Stab People" Pamphlet In It So Assholes Know Not To Fuck With Me And I Don't Even Have To Pull It Out And Threaten Them. There Is No Downside To This.

Related Authors

• Beulah Neveu
• Brian Garfield
• Darlene
• Deon Potgieter
• Franz Kline
• Harry Lloyd
• Jessica Bird
• Kathleen H. Hughes
• Kathryn Croft
• Lynn Michaels
• Patrick Wilson
• Wame Molefhe

Related Topics

• Quotes About Bafta

  The only award I've been nominated for is a Scottish BAFTA. A Scottish BAFTA, it's like hearing that the animals have their own Olympics. You hear all this stuff about — Frankie Boyle

• Quotes About Just Staying Friends

  I've had friends whose boyfriends I meet, then they break up and I end up staying buddies with the boyfriend. In this day and age with social media and Facebook, — Zachary Knighton

• Quotes About Divorce

  A faraway-father is distant from his children; not necessarily in geography, but socially - either by choice or by force. Our country has many fathers who are figuratively-forced far and — H. Kirk Rainer

• Carry Yourself With Dignity Quotes

  Cultivate these, then, for they are wholly within your power: sincerity and dignity; industriousness; and sobriety. Avoid grumbling, be frugal, considerate, and frank; be temperate in manner and speech; carry — Marcus Aurelius

• Iphone 4 Cover Quotes

  Apple should pull the plug on the iPhone ... What Apple risks here is its reputation as a hot company that can do no wrong. If it's smart it will — John C. Dvorak