Mark Leyner Quotes

And She Told Me I Deserved A Merit Badge For It ... Which Was Such A Particularly Funny, Particularly Uncanny Thing For Her To Have Said, Because When I Was About Eight Years Old And I Was A Cub Scout, All The Boys In Our Den Were Sitting Around In The Kitchen Of Our Den Mother One Afternoon, And She Lit A Cigarette Bending Over The Flame From The Front Burner Of The Stove, And She Set Her Hair On Fire, And I Put It Out - I Don't Remember If I Just Smothered It With My Hands Or Doused It With Some Sprite Or What - But She Stared At Me With This Sort Of Demented Look Of Gratitude On Her Face (she Drank) And She Said, 'I'm Going To Recommend That You Get A Merit Badge For This,' And Sure Enough I Did, I Actually Got A Merit Badge For Extinguishing The Fire In Our Den Mother's Hair.

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