Suzanne Finnamore Quotes & Sayings

Marriage is a conspiracy from Tiffany, florists, the diamond industry, and Christian fundamentalists. The only thing good about it is the diamond ring, the wedding gifts, and the honeymoon. — Suzanne Finnamore

I said that additionally, since I was planning to nurse, it be best if you were off the breast before I came back to work.
My boss just looked at me dreamily and said, 'That won't be for sixty years, at least. — Suzanne Finnamore

Someone who can make things happen must be alerted. — Suzanne Finnamore

Then they took us to the birthing suite, which I call the electronic bullshit room because it's full of all sorts of electronic bullshit we can't fathom but are just glad to have on principle. — Suzanne Finnamore

In so many senseless deaths, beauty is to blame. — Suzanne Finnamore

Gains
There is no man in the house that I have to try to make happy. There are no more arguments, or nights when I turn away from N in quiet dispair as he snores with an entitled regularity. Everything also stays cleaner; the toilet seat is perpetually down. I have the remote control to the television; no one can take that away. I can watch the Lifetime channel without derision. — Suzanne Finnamore

It's adult swim time and I'm diving in here at the shallow end. — Suzanne Finnamore

God is great and God is good," Lisa says. "But where are the Apache attack helicopters when you need them? — Suzanne Finnamore

The swans are unnaturally beautiful. They mate for life.
I wish they could talk. I have questions. — Suzanne Finnamore

He went on to say that if the Wicked Queen were around today, the whole story might have been different, because she would have looked in her Magic Mirror and said, If I got a little laser work around the jaw and eyelids, I might still be considered the Fairest in the Land. — Suzanne Finnamore

For most people, I edit. Most people are definitely getting along on the Cliffs Notes. — Suzanne Finnamore

After you are here, I will try not to become one of those parents who brag incessantly about their children, who force them to recite the alphabet backward or sing the Lord's Prayer in German to horrified dinner guests. One of those parents who tell people who aren't interested and haven't askd what their progeny's grade-point average is, what school they go to, how handsome and brilliant and psychic they are.
If something goes awry and I do become one of those parents, you have my permission to sneak into my bedroom while I am sleeping and pinch my nostrils shut. — Suzanne Finnamore

I've felt basically lucky ever since, almost every day of my life. That's something else love should make you feel. It should make you fell fortunate.
It will be made clear to you in a stray gesture, the line of a throat. Something in the hands. There may or may not be any music playing. But there will be a certain velocity of the spirit, a sensation of dropping through clear space unimpeded, and you think, This is the one. I found you. — Suzanne Finnamore

People are suppose to return response cards, but many of them haven't. These are people I naturally assumed would be thrilled and would reply immediately. Now I have to call them and ask them about it, and I have to be nice and not say what I would like to say.
"Hello? I'm sorry to bother you, but is it too much fucking trouble to send that little card back? I put a stamp on it. But maybe you need me to come over to your house and carry you to the mailbox."
In light of these developments, there ought to be a way to uninvite people who are disturbing me. — Suzanne Finnamore

I know one thing about men," Bunny says with finality, leaving the room to check on A. "They never die when you want them to. — Suzanne Finnamore

He left a bit too easily and with obvious relief. His feet were swift and sure on the muddy path. — Suzanne Finnamore

I was flying home from LA and all of a sudden I looked out at the clouds and I realized, Jesus we are really flying, and it was the most wonderful and miraculous thing, and about a minute later the feelings of anxiety and panic begin.
I feel the same way about marriage, today. — Suzanne Finnamore

I was steeped in denial, but my body knew. — Suzanne Finnamore

Much like trains in India, grief is a circular, irrational process with no discernible rhythm or timetable. Here it comes, there it goes. — Suzanne Finnamore

At the Lamaze class, they had me hold a block of ice for a full minute to stimulate labor pain, saying "Hee-haw, hee-haw," and doing my breathing excercises. They made the husbands try it first. Your father made it through the whole minute. The vision of him shouting "Hee-haw," cross-eyed with pain, was singular. The first really great laugh I've had in weeks. — Suzanne Finnamore

We never remember what is important, only what matters to us — Suzanne Finnamore

It had all seemed as inevitable as sunset. Instead it was the beauty of the sun glinting upon the scythe. — Suzanne Finnamore

You can hear now. Your inner ear is formed.
I shout "I love you" into the bedroom. Then I feel stupid. Then I don't. This is pretty much the story of my life. — Suzanne Finnamore

I am not ready to think of him as either insane or evil, to consider in full how I could love and have a child with such a person. I am not ready to think about anything, except ways in which this may still be averted. — Suzanne Finnamore

This is much worse than losing a cat. You do not wish the cat dead, for example, after the first two days. You still love the cat and presumably the cat still loves you, or some variation of love that may in fact be dependence and even indifference. — Suzanne Finnamore

Today you are thirteen weeks old and already controversial. You should know that the mention of the name Pablo is alarming to a very few, highly insignificant people. From this palsied paction there is occasionally the slightest pause, and then, 'Oh, really. Pablo.' Then with a small, self-depreciating chuckle, they might tilt their heads playfully and say something like 'Aren't you afraid people will think he's Mexican?'
... I find it amusing when they balk at Pablo, as though we were naming you Jesus H. Christ and jamming our nails into your hands. They seem to feel your name is up for general discussion, like naming a local bridge or a stray cat.
Hmmm. Mr. Whiskers? I don't like Mr. Whiskers. I like the name Blackie.'
Aren't you afraid people will think he's black? — Suzanne Finnamore

I feel angry but not homocidal; this may be unlooked-for progress. — Suzanne Finnamore

If you are a girl, I don't think you should necessarily become a lesbian, although if the idea appeals to you, I wouldn't say anything against it. I wouldn't try to stop you. Men can be obstinate and difficult to live with. Unlike myself, a perfectly reasonable woman unless shown a bag in which I am to place my vomit.
IF you are a boy, I apologize. — Suzanne Finnamore

Wonderful; such an active word - to be full of wonder. — Suzanne Finnamore

I think: I would like to take N back to a story right now, like a rake.
I would say, "Oh, this rake is uneven. Do you have any where the tines go straight across?"
I would like to do a straight exchange.
But there are things that cannot be returned. Errant husbands are one of them. Wives are not. Wives can be exchanged; I have always known this. — Suzanne Finnamore

I don't know how I got Michael. Maybe I just had a store credit from some other very lonely and shitty life. — Suzanne Finnamore

To my amazement and great, bittersweet joy, I can hear in him every reason I feell in love with his father - everything, like a second sonata to a first. All the lovely unspoiled good of N, bubbling forth from his son, unlooked for, oozing up from a well of genealogy and fate. I can manage to misplace my husabnd, but this flesh is chained to mine. I will always be reminded of the marital loss, but I have the benefits of the entire play, the witness of the evolution, the new art. I see the magic every day; I live with the sorcerer in yellow pants. N gets pieces and stems of A, random and marred by guilty. — Suzanne Finnamore

Flannel shirts should be outlawed for ex husbands; I realize this now. Flannel shirts are to women what crotchless panties are to men. — Suzanne Finnamore

I have a new mantra, which I chant softly to myself: Oh My God Oh My God. — Suzanne Finnamore

It's impressive how God attends to the details. — Suzanne Finnamore

I travel back in time, falling back into what I know for certain, the historical data I cling to in order to not go mad, not assume I made a suicidal and well-informed error in marrying this man. — Suzanne Finnamore

God works in mysterious ways, baby, and there is never more evidence of this than when your life is going along fairly well, actually sailing. The sensation of wind through your hair becomes, for an extremely brief time, commonplace. It is then that God lowers the cosmic boom. He will not show up; that is the kind view. The unkind view is that he sits back to watch with a high-ball and a bowl of nuts. — Suzanne Finnamore

Surprises, I feel now, are primarily a form of violence. — Suzanne Finnamore

The abandonment came, and now this shabby bacchanal. — Suzanne Finnamore

On the metaphysical front, the burning of sage is unsucessful. House reeks of doom, and now sage too. — Suzanne Finnamore

Irrationally, I think, Will You Marry Me? Four words. I Want a Divorce. Four words. I would like time to count the letters as well, but there is not time. — Suzanne Finnamore

The marriage is over; counseling is the eulogy. The relationship autopsy is the wake. — Suzanne Finnamore

Reuben nails my fantasies everytime, with iron rods of reality. He asserts that I am going to die, but probably not for a while, and that maybe I should try getting married and having a life first. He is 70 and knows things, which is why I go to him. But it's sad to leave my romantic illusions at the door of this passage. Although false and destructive and useless, they've been tremendous company. — Suzanne Finnamore

It would be sad and wrong in so many ways to self-combust at this time. — Suzanne Finnamore

Yes. THANK YOU. And say hello to Judas Iscariot. — Suzanne Finnamore

All my life, I should not have worried so much about looking foolish; I see that now. Signs matter. And all waves are dangerous, especially the ones you refuse to see coming. — Suzanne Finnamore

I played possum. I did this, as the possum does, out of fear. — Suzanne Finnamore

Just know that it is impossible to feel joy while you are feeling cynicism. It is like wearing tight shoes and trying to mambo. — Suzanne Finnamore

Someday I will have revenge. I know in advance to keep this to myself, and everyone will be happier. I do understand that I am expected to forgive N and his girlfriend in a timely fashion, and move on to a life of vegetarian cooking and difficult yoga positions and self-realization, and make this so much easier and more pleasant for all concerned. — Suzanne Finnamore

What I find about wedding plans is that everyone wants to talk about when I don't. As soon as I do feel like talking about my wedding plans, their eyes glaze over and I can see them wishing they were dead — Suzanne Finnamore

I sensed he may have occasionally strayed in some of his past relationships. It was something I felt but ignored, a rent in the fabric of an otherwise splendid garment I thought I could mend. I thought I could live with it - I thought, yes and I admit it, that I would be different. That at the very least, middle age and children would slow him down; however, they seemed to accelerate his pace. — Suzanne Finnamore

I used to loathe ambivalence; now I adore it. Ambivalence is my new best friend. — Suzanne Finnamore

When you moved, I felt squeezed with a wild infatuation and protectiveness. We are one. Nothing, not even death, can change that. — Suzanne Finnamore

My mind floats like ash. I blame myself most cruelly. — Suzanne Finnamore

Delusion detests focus and romance provides the veil. — Suzanne Finnamore

A heart can stop beating for a while, one can still live. — Suzanne Finnamore

My mother is a firm believer in the long pause, useful in interrogations, proclamations of truth, and the occasional cutting dead of someone without their knowing it. — Suzanne Finnamore

I feel incendiary, a wildfire. My spirit licks at the gates of a very elaborate, customized, and distracting emotional Hades. — Suzanne Finnamore

The whole world seems tilted, my inner ear displaced by a hole where my spouse used to be. — Suzanne Finnamore

This is much easier than when N left. Our son is unable to grasp and simultaneously turn doorknobs yet. If only this trick could be unlearned by men over thirty, many more families would celebrate Christmas together. — Suzanne Finnamore

How do you know? How best to ensure his nervous breakdown?" I ask.
"Keep going," Christian says. "Just go on as if nothing has happened. We all hate that. — Suzanne Finnamore

What nobody tells you about getting engaged is he asks you and you're delirious for about 2 days and then it tapers. He asks you and you're running around telling grocery clerks and ordering subscriptions to bride magazines and discussing prong settings, and then after 2 days this ebullience passes. And instead of looking ahead you are suddenly struck by everything you are leaving behind. — Suzanne Finnamore

Such silence has an actual sound, the sound of disappearance. — Suzanne Finnamore

I love you as the mother of my child: the kiss of death.
Mother of His Child: demotion. I am beginning to see this truism: Mothers are not always wives. I have been stripped of a piece of self. — Suzanne Finnamore

They feel life is for the taking, and that everyone deserves happiness no matter what the cost. I must remember these tricks if I ever decide to have my soul surgically removed. — Suzanne Finnamore

This people know where their husbands are. I would like to vomit. I would like to vomit my soul out. — Suzanne Finnamore

Reuben says in many cultures, the wedding ceremony and all of it's rituals are much the same as a funeral: a transition into another phase of life.
It is like dying and being reborn, if you believe in the afterlife. If you don't believe in an afterlife, then you are toast — Suzanne Finnamore

I review what I know once again, confronting the monolith now alien and almost unconnected to me: my marriage. — Suzanne Finnamore

I want to own this transition, not to simply swallow the shame of it entire. I will push for every little irony. — Suzanne Finnamore

Bushwhacked, I examine my hands. Same hands. Rings still there but no longer valid. — Suzanne Finnamore

Any way I slice reality it comes out poorly, and I feel an urge to not exist, something I have never felt before; and now here it comes with conviction, almost panic. I mentally bless and exonerate anyone who has kicked a chair out from beneath her or swallowed opium in large chunks. My mind has met their environment, here in the void. I understand perfectly. — Suzanne Finnamore