Sheryl Sandberg Quotes & Sayings

I realized that searching for a mentor has become the professional equivalent of waiting for Prince Charming. We all grew up on the fairy tale "Sleeping Beauty," which instructs young women that if they just wait for their prince to arrive, they will be kissed and whisked away on a white horse to live happily ever after. Now young women are told that if they can just find the right mentor, they will be pushed up the ladder and whisked away to the corner office to live happily ever after. Once again, we are teaching women to be too dependent on others. — Sheryl Sandberg

What helped him build resilience the most, he told me, was overcoming pervasiveness: "Extreme compartmentalization may be my biggest superpower," he said, laughing. If a project doesn't turn out the way he wanted, Byron remembers that things could always be worse. "I say to myself and to others all the time, 'Is anyone gonna die?' That's the worst - I'm not afraid of failure." Byron — Sheryl Sandberg

If you're offered a seat on a rocket ship, don't ask what seat! Just get on. — Sheryl Sandberg

You need to feel that you're making a difference. — Sheryl Sandberg

Go to a playground: Little girls get called 'bossy' all the time, a word that's almost never used for boys. And that leads directly to the problems women face in the workforce. When a man does a good job, everyone says, 'That's great.' When a woman does that same thing, she'll get feedback that says things like, 'Your results are good, but your peers just don't like you as much' or 'maybe you were a little aggressive.' — Sheryl Sandberg

My hope, of course, is that we won't have to play by these archaic rules forever and that eventually we can all just be ourselves. — Sheryl Sandberg

Endless data show that diverse teams make better decisions. We are building products that people with very diverse backgrounds use, and I think we all want our company makeup to reflect the makeup of the people who use our products. That's not true of any industry really, and we have a long way to go. — Sheryl Sandberg

She explained that many people, but especially women, feel fraudulent when they are praised for their accomplishments. Instead of feeling worthy of recognition, they feel undeserving and guilty, as if a mistake has been made. Despite being high achievers, even experts in their fields, women can't seem to shake the sense that it is only a matter of time until they are found out for who they really are- impostors with limited skills or abilities. — Sheryl Sandberg

It's pretty exciting to take real people living in the real world, their opinions, and have people have to react to that. As opposed to their perceptions of what people are thinking, which are often very different. — Sheryl Sandberg

What works for men does not always work for women, because success and likability are positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women. That's what the research shows. As a man gets more successful, everyone is rooting for him. As a woman gets more successful, both men and women like her less. — Sheryl Sandberg

And in situations where a man and a woman each receive negative feedback, the woman's self-confidence and self-esteem drop to a much greater degree. The internalization of failure and the insecurity it breeds hurt future performance, so this pattern has serious long-term consequences. — Sheryl Sandberg

I just believed. I believed that the technology would change people's lives. I believed putting real identity online - putting technology behind real identity - was the missing link. — Sheryl Sandberg

I've seen over and over how much self-belief drives outcomes. And that's why I force myself to sit at the table, even when I am not sure I belong there - and yes, this still happens to me. And when I'm not sure anyone wants my opinion, I take a deep breath and speak up anyway. — Sheryl Sandberg

Women are not making it to the top of any profession in the world. But when I say, 'The blunt truth is that men run the world,' people say, 'Really?' That, to me, is the problem. — Sheryl Sandberg

When companies fail, it's usually for reasons that almost everyone knows but almost no one has voiced. When someone isn't making good decisions, few have the guts to tell that person, especially if that person is the boss. One — Sheryl Sandberg

We need more men to sit at the table ... at the kitchen table. — Sheryl Sandberg

We [Facebook] really believe in enabling people to be their authentic selves on the web, and enabling people to communicate directly with each other in a very personal way. — Sheryl Sandberg

At a small dinner with other business executives, the guest of honor spoke the entire time without taking a breath. This meant that the only way to ask a question or make an observation was to interrupt. Three or four men jumped in, and the guest politely answered their questions before resuming his lecture. At one point, I tried to add something to the conversation and he barked, "Let me finish! You people are not good at listening!" Eventually, a few more men interjected and he allowed it. Then the only other female executive at the dinner decided to speak up
and he did it again! He chastised her for interrupting. After the meal, one of the male CEOs pulled me aside to say that he had noticed that only the women had been silenced. He told me he empathized, because as a Hispanic, he has been treated like this many times. — Sheryl Sandberg

I know that my success comes from hard work, help from others, and being at the right place at the right time. I feel a deep and enduring sense of gratitude to those who have given me opportunities and support. I recognize the sheer luck of being born into my family in the United States rather than one of the many places in the world where women are denied basic rights. I believe that all of us - men and women alike - should acknowledge good fortune and thank the people who have helped us. No one accomplishes anything all alone.
But I also know that in order to continue to grow and challenge myself, I have to believe in my own abilities. I still face situations that I fear are beyond my capabilities. I still have days when I feel like a fraud. And I still sometimes find myself spoken over and discounted while men sitting next to me are not. But now I know how to take a deep breath and keep my hand up. I have learned to sit at the table. — Sheryl Sandberg

When you want to change things, you can't please everyone. If you do please everyone, you aren't making enough progress. — Sheryl Sandberg

We need to talk more openly about mentorships and sponsorships. Women don't get the mentoring, and particularly the sponsors, they need to succeed as much as men. — Sheryl Sandberg

Guilt management can be just as important as time management for mothers. — Sheryl Sandberg

I thought resilience was the capacity to endure pain, so I asked Adam how I could figure out how much I had. He explained that our amount of resilience isn't fixed, so I should be asking instead how I could become resilient. Resilience is the strength and speed of our response to adversity - and we can build it. It isn't about having a backbone. It's about strengthening the muscles around our backbone. Since — Sheryl Sandberg

Another one of my favorite posters at Facebook declares in big red letters, "Done is better than perfect." I have tried to embrace this motto and let go of unattainable standards. Aiming for perfection causes frustration at best and paralysis at worst. — Sheryl Sandberg

When the man is traveling with a man, he says, "Let's stay up late and work on this and get this to be better." When the man's traveling with the woman, for the sake of appearances he doesn't do the work with her. That's a lost opportunity for her to be a success. — Sheryl Sandberg

Judith Rodin president of the Rockefeller Foundation and the first woman to serve a president of an Ivy League university remarked My generation fought so hard to give all of you choices. We believe in choices. But choosing to leave the workforce was not the choice we thought so many of you would make — Sheryl Sandberg

Also - and many might find this the most motivating factor - couples who share domestic responsibilities have more sex. — Sheryl Sandberg

I could challenge the notion that I was constantly headed for failure. — Sheryl Sandberg

Trying to overcorrect is a great way to find middle ground. In order for me to speak the right amount in a meeting, I have to feel as if I am saying very little. — Sheryl Sandberg

A truly equal world would be one where women ran half our countries and companies and men ran half our homes. — Sheryl Sandberg

I told the members of the graduating class that they should be ambitious not just in pursuing their dreams but in aspiring to become leaders in their fields. — Sheryl Sandberg

It is time for us to face that our revolution has stalled. — Sheryl Sandberg

When Warren Buffett talks about competing against only half of the population, I think about her and wonder how different her life might have been if she had been born half a century later. — Sheryl Sandberg

I am also writing this for any man who wants to understand what a woman - a colleague, wife, mother, or daughter - is up against so that he can do his part to build an equal world. This — Sheryl Sandberg

When we get feedback on women, we ask, "Is that real or is that the gender bias at play?" Everyone could start doing that today and I think we'd see really big results. — Sheryl Sandberg

As women get more powerful, they get less likable. I see women holding themselves back because of this, but if we start talking about the success-likability penalty women face, then we can do something about it. — Sheryl Sandberg

We need women at all levels, including the top, to change the dynamic, reshape the conversation, to make sure women's voices are heard and heeded, not overlooked and ignored. — Sheryl Sandberg

There can be no equality in the boardroom until there is in the bedroom. — Sheryl Sandberg

It's more pressure on women to - if they marry or partner with someone, to partner with the right person. Because you cannot have a full career and a full life at home with your children if you are also doing all of the housework and child care. — Sheryl Sandberg

[F]eminism wasn't supposed to make us feel guilty, or prod us into constant competition over who is raising children better, organizing more cooperative marriages, or getting less sleep. It was supposed to make us free -to give us not only choices but the ability to make these choices without constantly feeling that we'd somehow gotten it wrong. — Sheryl Sandberg

Because the vast majority of leaders are men, it is not possible to generalize from any one example. But the dearth of female leaders causes one woman to be viewed as representative of her entire gender. And because people often discount and dislike female leaders, these generalizations are often critical. This is not just unfair to the individuals but reinforces the stigma that successful women are unlikeable. — Sheryl Sandberg

Men at the top are often unaware of the benefits they enjoy simply because they're men, and this can make them blind to the disadvantages associated with being a woman. Women lower down also believe that men at the top are entitled to be there, so they try to play by the rules and work harder to advance rather than raise questions or voice concerns about the possibility of bias. As a result, everyone becomes complicit in perpetuating an unjust system. — Sheryl Sandberg

I turned to her and said, "I can't believe you are going through this again. How are you okay? How can you possibly be okay?" She said, "I didn't die. Mel did and Dave did, but I am alive. And I am going to live." She put her arm around me and said, "And you are going to live too." Then she completely stunned me by adding, "And you are not only going to live, but you are going to get remarried one day - and I am going to be there to celebrate with you. — Sheryl Sandberg

It turns out that a husband who does the laundry, it's very romantic when you're older. And it's hard to believe when you're younger. But it's absolutely true. — Sheryl Sandberg

My generation fought so hard to give all of you choices. We believe in choices. But choosing to leave the workforce was not the choice we thought so many of you would make."2 So — Sheryl Sandberg

At last, someone was articulating exactly how I felt. Every time I was called on in class, I was sure that I was about to embarrass myself. Every time I took a test, I was sure that it had gone badly. And every time I didn't embarrass myself - or even excelled - I believed that I had fooled everyone yet again. One day soon, the jig would be up. — Sheryl Sandberg

Instead of ignoring our differences, we need to accept and transcend them. — Sheryl Sandberg

Option A is not available. so let's just kick the shit out of Option B."

Life is never perfect. We all live some form of Option B. — Sheryl Sandberg

The pipeline that supplies the educated workforce is clock-full of women at the entry level, but by the time that same pipeline is filling leadership positions, it is overwhelmingly stocked with men. — Sheryl Sandberg

Men of all ages must commit to changing the leadership ratios. They can start by actively seeking out qualified female candidates to hire and promote. And if qualified candidates cannot be found, then we need to invest in more recruiting, mentoring, and sponsoring so women can get the necessary experience. — Sheryl Sandberg

Women have made tons of progress. But we still have a small percentage of the top jobs in any industry, in any nation in the world. I think that's partly because from a very young age, we encourage our boys to lead and we call our girls bossy. — Sheryl Sandberg

Painful knowledge is better than blissful ignorance — Sheryl Sandberg

Staying quiet and fitting in may have been all the first generations of women who entered corporate America could do; in some cases, it might still be the safest path. But this strategy is not paying off for women as a group. Instead, we need to speak out, identify the barriers that are holding women back, and find solutions. — Sheryl Sandberg

This helps explain why for many women, speaking honestly in a professional environment carries an additional set of fears: Fear of not being considered a team player. Fear of seeming negative or nagging. Fear that constructive criticism will come across as just plain old criticism. Fear that by speaking up, we will call attention to ourselves, which might open us up to attack (a fear brought to us by that same voice in the back of our heads that urges us not to sit at the table). — Sheryl Sandberg

I don't believe we have a professional self from Mondays through Fridays and a real self for the rest of the time. — Sheryl Sandberg

The most important thing - and I've said it a hundred times and I'll say it a hundred times - if you marry a man, marry the right one. — Sheryl Sandberg

I thought ( ... ) the proverbial glass ceiling had been cracked ( ... ) and I believed that it was just a matter of time until my generation took our fair share of the leadership roles. — Sheryl Sandberg

To this day, I'm embarrassed that I didn't realize that pregnant women needed reserved parking until I experienced my own aching feet. As one of Google's most senior women, didn't I have a special responsibility to think of this? — Sheryl Sandberg

Everyone needs to get more comfortable with female leaders-including female leaders themselves. — Sheryl Sandberg

talk that TED later named "Why We Have Too Few Women Leaders"). Very — Sheryl Sandberg

As a Facebook summer intern once told me, In my school's computer science department, there are more Daves than girls. — Sheryl Sandberg

Given this, I believe we have sent the wrong message to young women. We need to stop telling them, "Get a mentor and you will excel." Instead, we need to tell them, "Excel and you will get a mentor." Clara — Sheryl Sandberg

Past my own feelings of guilt and insecurity, I feel grateful. These parents - mostly mothers - constitute a large amount of — Sheryl Sandberg

It bothered me because like most people who have choices, I am not completely comfortable with mine. — Sheryl Sandberg

In fact, my New Year's resolution every year, and I'm Jewish so I get two New Years a year, is to meditate, and I fail every time. — Sheryl Sandberg

letting the other side make the first offer is often crucial to achieving favorable terms. — Sheryl Sandberg

But instead of blaming women for not negotiating more, we need to recognize that women often have good cause to be reluctant to advocate for their own interests because doing so can easily backfire. — Sheryl Sandberg

I spent most of my career in business not saying the word 'woman.' Because if you say the word 'woman' in a business context, and often in a political context, the person on the other side of the table thinks you're about to sue them or ask for special treatment, right? — Sheryl Sandberg

First, women must come across as being nice, concerned about others, and "appropriately" female. When women take a more instrumental approach ("This is what I want and deserve"), people react far more negatively. There is a saying, "Think globally, act locally." When negotiating, "Think personally, act communally. — Sheryl Sandberg

Our culture needs to find a robust image of female success that is first, not male, and second, not a white woman on the phone, holding a crying baby, — Sheryl Sandberg

It is illegal to discriminate on the basis of pregnancy or gender. It is not illegal to talk about it. — Sheryl Sandberg

Sharing emotions builds deeper relationships. Motivation comes from working on things we care about. It also comes from working with people we care about. To really care about others, we have to understand them - what they like and dislike, what they feel as well as think. Emotion drives both men and women and influences every decision we make. Recognizing the role emotions play and being willing to discuss — Sheryl Sandberg

It takes a near act of rebellion for even a four-year-old to break away from society's expectations. — Sheryl Sandberg

I'd like to see where boys and girls end up if they get equal encouragement - I think we might have some differences in how leadership is done. — Sheryl Sandberg

If a woman pushes to get the job done, if she's highly competent, if she focuses on results rather than on pleasing others, she's acting like a man. And if she acts like a man, people dislike her. — Sheryl Sandberg

These aren't personal questions. They are human questions, — Sheryl Sandberg

Without fear, women can pursue professional success and personal fulfillment - and freely choose one, or the other, or both. — Sheryl Sandberg

We hold ourselves back not just out of fear of seeming too aggressive but also by underestimating our abilities. Ask a woman to explain why she's successful and she'll credit luck, hard work, and help from others. Ask a man the same question and he's likely to explain, or at least think, "C'mon, I'm awesome!"4 — Sheryl Sandberg

I tell people in their careers, 'Look for growth. Look for the teams that are growing quickly. Look for the companies that are doing well. Look for a place where you feel that you can have a lot of impact.' — Sheryl Sandberg

When I left Google to join Facebook, as a percentage of my team, fewer women tried to follow me. As they had been all along, the men were more interested in new and, as we say in tech, higher beta opportunities - where the risks were great but the potential rewards even greater. — Sheryl Sandberg

In our performance reviews with women, we need to be saying, "Are you reaching enough? Are you applying for jobs when you meet some of the criteria like men, or are you waiting to meet all the criteria like women do?" There's so much we can do to encourage women to take on more and believe in themselves. — Sheryl Sandberg

Men can comfortably claim credit for what they do as long as they don't veer into arrogance. For women, taking credit comes at a real social and professional cost. — Sheryl Sandberg

Give us a world where half our homes are run by men, and half our institutions are run by women. I'm pretty sure that would be a better world. — Sheryl Sandberg

She was undergoing daily radiation treatments, which were physically draining and made her forgetful. "In any version of picturing this moment - that fantasy of what you want to be - I would have been strong, smart, and inspiring confidence," she told me. "I wanted to be a role model in that perfect 'put together' sense. Instead, I told them I had cancer and would need their support." Their — Sheryl Sandberg

People assume Wall Street is a certain culture and tech is a certain culture. But if you look at the (gender) numbers at the top of (those) industries, they don't vary very much. I think in finance, women hold 19 percent of the top jobs, and women are 21 percent of the leaders in nonprofits. — Sheryl Sandberg

When I was in high school, I was voted most likely to succeed. — Sheryl Sandberg

We compromise our career goals to make room for partners and children who may not even exist yet — Sheryl Sandberg

Statements of opinion are always more constructive in the first person "I" form. Compare these two statements: "You never take my suggestions seriously" and "I feel frustrated that you have not responded to my last four e-mails, which leads me to believe that my suggestions are not that important to you. Is that so?" The former can elicit a quick and defensive "That's not true!" The latter is much harder to deny. One — Sheryl Sandberg

Personal connections lead to assignments and promotions, so it needs to be okay for men and women to spend informal time together the same way men can. A senior man and a junior man at a bar is seen as mentoring. A senior man and a junior woman at a bar can also be mentoring ... but is looks like dating. — Sheryl Sandberg

It's easy to dislike the few senior women out there. What if women were half the positions in power? It would be harder to dislike all of them. — Sheryl Sandberg

I spent most of my career, including my time at McKinsey, never acknowledging that I was a woman. And, you know, fast forward - I'm 43 now - fitting in is not helping us. — Sheryl Sandberg

I have written this book to encourage women to dream big, forge a path through the obstacles, and achieve their full potential. I am hoping that each woman will set her own goals and reach for them with gusto. And I am hoping that each man will do his part to support women in the workplace and in the home, also with gusto. As we start using the talents of the entire population, our institutions will be more productive, our homes will be happier, and the children growing up in those homes will no longer be held back by narrow stereotypes. — Sheryl Sandberg

Forty-three percent of highly qualified women with children are leaving careers, or "off-ramping", for a period of time. — Sheryl Sandberg

As the graduates were called to the stage to collect their diplomas, I shook every hand. Many stopped to give me a hug. One young woman even told me I was "the baddest bitch" (which, having checked with someone later, actually did turn out to be a compliment). — Sheryl Sandberg

I'm a feminist because I believe in women ... it's a heavy word, feminism, but it's not one I think we should run from. I'm proud to be a feminist. — Sheryl Sandberg

Colleagues and the media are also quick to credit external factors for a woman's achievements. — Sheryl Sandberg

The ability to learn is the most important quality a leader can have.13 — Sheryl Sandberg

Coming from Google, you don't exactly spend a lot of time at Microsoft. — Sheryl Sandberg

There's a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. — Sheryl Sandberg

To really care about others, we have to understand them - what they like and dislike, what they feel as well as think. Emotion drives both men and women and influences every decision we make. Recognizing the role emotions play and being willing to discuss them makes us better managers, partners, and peers. — Sheryl Sandberg