Nicole Peeler Quotes & Sayings

Can I have this?" Iris asked in her honeydew voice, holding up one of the novels I'd brought her so that Amy could see the cover.
"Sorry, hot man is all out at the moment. We have some corpulent taxi driver and a slice of crazy cat-lady left, but we ran out of hot man hours ago. — Nicole Peeler

I'd just met a talking garden gnome and the nightmare version of My Little Pony. — Nicole Peeler

Some heroes are born. Some are made. And some are bribed with promises of food and sex. — Nicole Peeler

But the next noise to echo through the hall was one I was pretty sure I recognized. It was the unmistakable sound of the shit hitting the fan. — Nicole Peeler

Then again, I threatened if my stomach got my head chopped off I'd never feed it again. — Nicole Peeler

Seriously, you're so old. What did people do for dates when you were a puppy? If you club me over the head and take me to your cave, I'll be traumatized. You can't pull that shit on a girl who's half seal. We have a history. — Nicole Peeler

I can always count on you to say something sexy," he said. I blushed. "I know. I'm very smooth." "You are smooth," he murmured, leaning down to brush his lips against my forehead. "Smooth and soft and warm. I could touch you forever ... — Nicole Peeler

They were paragons of conservative propriety in public, but in private they swung like pinatas. — Nicole Peeler

I was with you right up until you said, 'Bring the pain.' I've only ever brought cookies, or the occasional casserole. — Nicole Peeler

I shrieked incoherent, made up swear words as the pain stopped messing bent me over, and made me its bitch — Nicole Peeler

I just think you should concentrate more on what you are good at, and the strengths you already have, instead of worrying about changing yourself into something you're not. — Nicole Peeler

Come hell or high water, I will separate you from your man-business. I don't care how, or if you kill me. If it means me, dead, holding your junk, I'll take your junk. Got that? — Nicole Peeler

Did you just wipe your nose on me? he asked, finally. — Nicole Peeler

I wanted to pull out his toenails and poke them in his eyeballs. — Nicole Peeler

Who tries? You try, your dad tries, average people try. And for their attempts at goodness, average people are mugged by strangers, molested by predatory uncles, massacred by their own governments. — Nicole Peeler

He had this domineering way about him that totally ketchuped my tater tots - it was like he knew what I wanted more than I did. — Nicole Peeler

I don't know whether it's because I don't love him, or because I can't love him for demanding something like that from me. Or because he doesn't know me for squat. But I couldn't give him my whole life. And that's what he wanted from me. He wanted everything, and I wanted him to love me for what I had already offered. — Nicole Peeler

My libido was doing the humpy dance while dressed in Milkbone pasties and a thong. — Nicole Peeler

It was when he was so casually clever, however, that I wanted to pickle his gherkin. — Nicole Peeler

But I don't want you to be afraid to take risks. If it's worth it ... If the person in his eyes is the person you want to be, the person you know you could be ... then don't be scared ... — Nicole Peeler

Sorry, no. I'm Magog, and I'm a raven. Not a selkie. she said, in a singsong accent I recognized as Welsh from watching Torchwood. — Nicole Peeler

Um ... milk. Yes, I believe I do have milk. In the fridge, Anyn replied, remarkably cordial for someone who'd just been cock-blocked by Dr. Bunsen Honeydew. — Nicole Peeler

You're the champion, I reminded myself. You have to fight a dragon. You're not allowed to be scared of a penis. — Nicole Peeler

I'd managed to snatch a few more hours of rest, which was all I needed, so I felt fine despite our marathon evening of debauchery. — Nicole Peeler

I've not only been around the block, but I've burned the block down. At least twice. — Nicole Peeler

Somewhere squidgy. Your belly, maybe?"
"I can't believe you called my belly 'squidgy.' It's not squidgy, it's pillowy. And sexy! — Nicole Peeler

Oh gods, Jane, the answer to all those questions is you. You turn me on; you're what I want; you make me growl. — Nicole Peeler

It wasn't like humans were any better behaved toward each other. Look at their wars, their genocides, their weapons of mass destruction. Look at 4chan! — Nicole Peeler

That hair-pulling thing he did really peeled my bananas. — Nicole Peeler

He chose to eat his tart off my thighs, which I think we both enjoyed. — Nicole Peeler

These shirts are perfectly serviceable."
I rolled my eyes. "Serviceable? Anyan, I get it that you're utilitarian. If we were in the old country you'd write odes to factories. You'd sing the praises of the communal farm while you gnawed on a perfectly 'serviceable' radish. But this is the new millennium. In America. Buy a button-up. — Nicole Peeler

She liked a very particular kind of plot: the sort where the pirate kidnaps some virgin damsel, rapes her into loving him, and then dispatches lots of seamen while she polishes his cutlass. Or where the Highland clan leader kidnaps some virginal English Rose, rapes her into loving him, and then kills entire armies Sassenachs while she stuffs his haggis. Or where the Native American warrior kidnaps a virginal white settler, rapes her into loving him, and then kills a bunch of colonists while she whets his tomahawk. I hated to get Freudian on Linda, but her reading patterns suggested some interesting insight into why she is such a bitch. — Nicole Peeler

I swear to the gods that if you answer one more of my questions with a question, I am going to go all Tyson and bite your damned ear off ... — Nicole Peeler

I grumbled, completely convinced that Jarl was responsible for everything nasty, up to and including the flu, pigeons, and the relative inaccessibility of the G-spot. — Nicole Peeler

I blinked at her, suddenly loathing her to the depths of my soul. Not only was she probably rather evil, and definitely thoroughly unpleasant, but she also didn't read. — Nicole Peeler

Did you take your sassy pills tonight, Jules?"
"Seriously, Jane. I will cut a bitch."
"Where did you even learn that expression? Have you been watching RuPaul's Drag Race again? — Nicole Peeler

I love you, puppy," I told him, just because I could.
"You just love my doggie style. — Nicole Peeler

I was pretty sure I'd just had a nerdgasm. — Nicole Peeler

I do know you're nothing like him. But you're still ... still a lot. A lot to handle. I don't mean your junk, obviously, as we've not gotten to the fondling-bits stage yet. And I can't believe I just talked about your junk. — Nicole Peeler

The way I saw it, one of the single greatest advantages of being in a relationship was that you got to eat off the other person's plate. — Nicole Peeler

Your mother and I had a child because we wanted to share our love with someone, not because we wanted a nurse to take care of us in our old age. — Nicole Peeler

Besides, there's no issue. Not yet, at least. Ryu's in Boston; I'm in Rockabill; Anyan is in absentia. So I'll just keep ignoring everything till I get walloped with it. Then I'll panic and run to you. — Nicole Peeler

Because I think that sometimes, when you really love somebody, you don't ask them for the kind of compromise that is actually a sacrifice. The kind where one person gives up everything they have, everything they are, just so they can be with the other person. And you certainly don't expect that shit. You don't expect someone to prove their love. To love you that little bit more than you love them. — Nicole Peeler

So, like, Zeus was just some great big preternatural baby-daddy? — Nicole Peeler

My fingers scrabbled at the smooth leather interior of Ryu's BMW as he missed the exit we needed. Causing him to drop a few more F bombs and slam on the breaks. He then opened what I assume was a rift in the space time continuum in order to hurtle his German made steal cage of doom through said continuum. — Nicole Peeler

I wasn't running now so much as stumbling quickly, panting like a geriatric lion. — Nicole Peeler

The thing is, Iris, I've never liked the idea of compromise. In films and in stories people who love each other - really love each other - make horrendous sacrifices. They give kidneys they move across the world they die. Or become the undead because you know I like that sort of book. Basically the heroine's lover calls and she answers. Which is stupid. You know why "
Iris shook her head.
"Because he's always fucking calling. — Nicole Peeler

I muscled through the moment with my usual delicacy. — Nicole Peeler