L.R. Knost Quotes & Sayings

The fact is that hurting people hurt people, and children raised with condemnation in whatever form it takes are hurting people. Period. Words matter. — L.R. Knost

Giving our children rest means being their safe harbor, their place to retreat when life hurts and the world looms large and people disappoint and mistakes are made. Becoming that safe harbor means being free ~ freely available, freely offered, freely welcoming. — L.R. Knost

Saying someone can't be sad because someone else may have it worse is like saying someone can't be happy because someone else may have it better. ~Unknown — L.R. Knost

It is helpful to remember that the most strong-willed children tend to be the ones who identify the most strongly with their parents. So instead of viewing their seemingly constant challenges as defiance or attempts to thwart authority, work to parent from a place of understanding that your strong-willed child is actually on a discovery mission and is doing endless 'research' on you by testing and retesting and digging and chiseling to discover all of your quirks and foibles and ups and downs and strengths and weaknesses. — L.R. Knost

Keep working on you. Remind yourself that it's your emotions and experiences and expectations that are causing your outbursts, not your little one's behavior. — L.R. Knost

Life is amazing. And then it's awful. And then it's amazing again. And in between the amazing and awful it's ordinary and mundane and routine. Breathe in the amazing, hold on through the awful, and relax and exhale during the ordinary. That's just living heartbreaking, soul-healing, amazing, awful, ordinary life. And it's breathtakingly beautiful. — L.R. Knost

The parents' perceptions all too often become the reality. In other words, who they believe they are raising is who they will raise. — L.R. Knost

Taking care of yourself doesn't mean me first, it means me too. — L.R. Knost

Here's the thing, effective parenting and, more specifically, effective discipline, don't require punishment. Equating discipline with punishment is an unfortunate, but common misconception. The root word in discipline is actually disciple which in the verb form means to guide, lead, teach, model, and encourage. In the noun form disciple means one who embraces the teaching of, follows the example of, and models their life after. — L.R. Knost

Parents, choose your words wisely, carefully, thoughtfully. In the same way that violence begets violence and anger begets anger, kindness begets kindness and peace begets peace. Sow words of peace, words that build, words that show respect and belief and support. — L.R. Knost

Forgiveness empties the past of its power to empty the present of its peace. — L.R. Knost

Growing independence, though, doesn't have to mean growing separation. Humans were created to be relational beings. We may outgrow our dependency, but we never outgrow the need for community, interaction, appreciation, reassurance, and support. — L.R. Knost

Instead of raising children who turn out okay despite their childhood, let's raise children who turn out extraordinary because of their childhood. — L.R. Knost

Books on the bookshelves
And stacked on the floor
Books kept in baskets
And propped by the door
Books in neat piles
And in disarray
Books tucked in closets
And books on display
Books filling crannies
And books packed in nooks
Books massed in windows
And mounded in crooks
Libraries beckon
And bookstores invite
But book-filled rooms welcome
Us back home at night! — L.R. Knost

Forgiving ourselves and learning from our inevitable mistakes transforms failure from a stumbling block into a stepping stone. — L.R. Knost

Children don't 'mis'behave. They behave, either positively or negatively, to communicate. Small children communicate through their behavior because that is the only method of communication they have. Even when they become verbal, though, they still aren't able to articulate big feelings and subtle problems well verbally, so as parents it's our role to 'listen between the lines' of our children's behavior to discern the need being communicated. Setting boundaries is not about 'mis'behavior. It's about guiding behavior, and guidance is something we provide through everyday interactions with our children. — L.R. Knost

Fairy tales in childhood are stepping stones throughout life, leading the way through trouble and trial. The value of fairy tales lies not in a brief literary escape from reality, but in the gift of hope that goodness truly is more powerful than evil and that even the darkest reality can lead to a Happily Ever After. Do not take that gift of hope lightly. It has the power to conquer despair in the midst of sorrow, to light the darkness in the valleys of life, to whisper "One more time" in the face of failure. Hope is what gives life to dreams, making the fairy tale the reality. — L.R. Knost

Some say they get lost in books, but I find myself, again and again, in the pages of a good book. Humanly speaking, there is no greater teacher, no greater therapist, no greater healer of the soul, than a well-stocked library. — L.R. Knost

Remember, no matter the problem, kindness is always the right response. When your child is having a problem, stop, listen, then respond to the need, not the behavior. The behavior can be addressed later, after the need has been met, because only then is the door to effective communication truly open. — L.R. Knost

Discipline is helping a child solve a Problem. Punishment is making a child suffer for having a problem. To raise problem solvers, focus on solution not retribution. — L.R. Knost

It's not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world. It's our job to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless. — L.R. Knost

When you're lying in bed at night and regrets from the day come to steal your sleep ...
"I should have"
"If only I'd"
"I wish I'd"
... grab one of them and turn it into an "I will" and sleep peacefully knowing tomorrow will be a better day. — L.R. Knost

Want to help stop the bullying epidemic? Don't act like a bully. Don't hit, threaten, ignore, isolate, intimidate, ridicule, or manipulate your child. Children really do learn what they live ... — L.R. Knost

If perfection were possible, the Cross wouldn't have been necessary. (Galatians 2:21) — L.R. Knost

Parenting has nothing to do with perfection. Perfection isn't even the goal, not for us, not for our children. Learning together to live well in an imperfect world, loving each other despite or even because of our imperfections, and growing as humans while we grow our little humans, those are the goals of gentle parenting. So don't ask yourself at the end of the day if you did everything right. Ask yourself what you learned and how well you loved, then grow from your answer. That is perfect parenting. — L.R. Knost

As Maya Angelou, American author, poet, and self-described Renaissance Woman, wrote, Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better. — L.R. Knost

No matter the problem, kindness is always the right response. — L.R. Knost

For a child, it is in the simplicity of play that the complexity of life is sorted like puzzle pieces joined together to make sense of the world. — L.R. Knost

It is time for a return to childhood, to simplicity, to running and climbing and laughing in the sunshine, to experiencing happiness instead of being trained for a lifetime of pursuing happiness. It is time to let children be children again. — L.R. Knost