Julie Anne Peters Quotes & Sayings

Never question the sanity of a woman who can render you defenseless with a look. — Julie Anne Peters

Yeah, I loved her. I couldn't help it. She was my brother. — Julie Anne Peters

That's love? To let someone beat you and be hateful to you? These people are all so ... Weak. Powerless to change their lives. I know the feeling. All you can do is take it. No one understands how it beats you down. — Julie Anne Peters

It's actually the fourth,' I say, 'if you count getting fired from CopyMax.'
'Which we do not.' Jo slit-eyes me. She scoops up a handful of Fritos and tosses them into her mouth.
I try to keep a straight face, but it's hard when I add, 'Fired for copying your naked butt and gluing it on your boss's chair. — Julie Anne Peters

The truth remains. I was, and am, disgusted with myself. — Julie Anne Peters

Why are people so cruel? What did I ever do to them? — Julie Anne Peters

But you'd sell your soul for it, wouldn't you? For one day of feeling beautiful. — Julie Anne Peters

With determination and purpose, I head into the light. — Julie Anne Peters

Who will see you through the darkness? "Me," I key in the answer. "I'll find my own way. — Julie Anne Peters

Black_Venus: Here it goes:
Curious mosaic
Continental drift
Parabolic metaphor
Elemental rift
Time and transposition
Conscious intermission
Assertion?
Desertion
Black_Venus: That's all I have so far. You finish it.
Me: How about Spanish Inquisition. — Julie Anne Peters

I know it's hard on her. If I don't tell her she'll kill me." He pauses. "That was supposed to be funny. — Julie Anne Peters

What was I afraid of, exactly? What other people would think? I guess, a little. But that wasn't what was stopping me from acting on my feelings. It was the intensity of them. The desire for her. I knew if I gave into it, I'd have to surrender myself completely. I'd lose all control. Everything I knew, everything I was, the walls I'd built up to protect myself all these years would come crashing down. I might get lost in the rubble. Yet, she made me feel alive in a way I'd only ever imagined I could feel. Bells, whistles, music. — Julie Anne Peters

Holl?" Seth turned over. "Where you going?"
"Home. Sorry. Go back to sleep." I pulled on my sweatpants.
"But we have all night." He pushed to his elbows.
"I know. I can't." My voice sounded hoarse, hollow. "I don't feel good. I'm sorry." I lurched for the door. I needed to get out, get away. As far away from here as possible. She was in me, in my blood, invading every cell in my body. She was the one I wanted. She was the one I saw, felt, desired. This was wrong. He was wrong. It was all so wrong. (Chapter. 12) — Julie Anne Peters

I had to fight so hard not to cry. — Julie Anne Peters

As they were carting him off on a gurney, all I could think was, I wish that was me. — Julie Anne Peters

I've never been afraid of the dark. I'm more afraid of the day, of people. I love the night. The solitude. Well, I don't love it. I don't feel love. I hate people, so I hope when I get there it isn't crowded. I hope the light is a momentary phenomenon and the other side is completely black. And silent. — Julie Anne Peters

But its not funny. Not to people who've been told they're losers their whole lives and believe they will never be anything else. — Julie Anne Peters

Like anyone cared where I was, or who I was. — Julie Anne Peters

It was her way of saying, You should kill yourself. — Julie Anne Peters

The best thing about coming out is, it's totally liberating. You feel like you've made this incredible discovery about yourself and you want to share it and be open and honest and not spend all your time wondering how is this person going to react, or should I be careful around this person, or what will the neighbors say? And it's more. It's about getting past the question of what's wrong with me, to knowing there's nothing wrong, that you were born this way. You're a normal person and a beautiful person and you should be proud of who you are. You deserve to live with dignity and show people your pride. — Julie Anne Peters

I gaze up at the ceiling. Through it. Past Kim and Chip's room on the second floor into the sky, space, heaven, hell. Who says hell is down? It could be up. It could be next door to heaven. Hell could be a subset of heaven, like a ghetto in the middle of a glass city. — Julie Anne Peters

What you see, isn't always what you get — Julie Anne Peters

Take it as a token. Because tomorrow when I go, I want you to believe friends are possible. — Julie Anne Peters

I close my eyes and black out the day. The exhaustion of living through it, surviving. — Julie Anne Peters

I'd decided to write him and tell him to leave me alone. Please, in a nice way, go away, I really can't deal with you. — Julie Anne Peters

Sometimes I felt as if there were no tomorrows, that everything, my whole life, was crammed into one long day. A continuous stretch of meaningless time. Sometimes I even wished there was no tomorrow, if this was all I had to look forward to. — Julie Anne Peters

I got singled out. I don't know why. Why do people always target me? Is it because I'm short and they figure I can't fight back? They're right, I can't, but it's not because I'm vertically challenged. — Julie Anne Peters

J_Doe032692 wrote: I am not a thin person. However this does not give people the right to taunt me, calling me ugly and worthless, telling me to kill myself because no one will ever want me, or to make up songs about why I am so fat and how much food I eat. NO ONE, I repeat, NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO HURT ANOTHER HUMAN BEING THIS BADLY.
My throat constricts. The neck brace feels as if it's shrinking and cutting off my esophagus. I reach up and cover the words with my hand and the web site dissolves.
I want to go.
Now. — Julie Anne Peters

I wanted to be with her, like all the time. Eliminate the obstacles, the people and things in our lives that were keeping us apart: Brandi, Seth, Kirsten, society, me.
Me? Make that my fear. What was I afraid of, exactly? What other people would think? I guess, a little. But that wasn't what was stopping me from acting on my feelings. It was the intensity of them. The desire for her. I knew if I gave into it, I'd have to surrender myself completely. I'd lose all control. Everything I knew, everything I was, the walls I'd built up to protect myself all these years would come crashing down. I might get lost in the rubble. Yet, she made me feel alive in a way I'd only ever imagined I could feel. Bells, whistles, music. (Chapter. 15) — Julie Anne Peters

No one else knows I'm alive, which means they won't notice when I'm gone. — Julie Anne Peters

The stone bench is gray. The grass is gray. My life is dirty gray — Julie Anne Peters

It doesn't matter who you love - a guy, a girl - love is love. And it's the most important thing in the world. If you have love in your life, you have everything. — Julie Anne Peters

When I look at myself in the mirror, all I see is a starving, stunted bird who never grew wings and lost all reason sing. — Julie Anne Peters

What awaits you? Eternal peace. Serenity. The light on the other side. What awaits me is unknown. The only certainty is that life is an eternal hell. — Julie Anne Peters

Wiping the rivulet of sweat running down my ear with the bottom of my muscle shirt, I snuck a sniff under my pit. Whoa. Kill a moose — Julie Anne Peters

Yet, when we talked, when we were together, she seemed so familiar. Seemed to know who I was, where I was coming from. She knew me better than I knew myself, I think. She was easy to be with. And I wanted to be with her, like all the time. — Julie Anne Peters

I don't have alot of people to talk to. Not alot of people are worth my time. — Julie Anne Peters

I shouldn't have been there. I should never have been born. — Julie Anne Peters

No one ever found out what was happening inside me. How the pain was eating me away. No one ever came to my rescue, or stood up for me. — Julie Anne Peters

I wish I was invisible to him, to everyone. — Julie Anne Peters

Our eyes met across the crowded room, like in the movies, except we didn't share a knowing smile and race into each other's arms. Instead I fell into the trash can. — Julie Anne Peters

He makes me feel all jiggly inside. STOP FEELING. Stop caring. — Julie Anne Peters

Trust. That was what this was all about. If you can't trust the one you love, you don't have anything. — Julie Anne Peters

That's why they call it a dream, Tone. Because it'll never be a reality. — Julie Anne Peters

Everything seems to be working. Except me. I'm broken. — Julie Anne Peters

Me? I had no dreams. No longings. Dreams only set you up for disappointment. Plus, you had to have a life to have dreams of a better life. — Julie Anne Peters

I'm sorry you don't get it, Mom. Sometimes I don't get why I do the things I do. I just know I wake up every morning and wish I was dead. — Julie Anne Peters

Yeah, I hear the truth. But this is my truth. — Julie Anne Peters

When I asked [my dad why the sky was blue] he said it was because God's a boy. If God were a girl, the sky would be pink.
'What about sunrise and sunset?' I'd asked.
Dad had looked dumbfounded. 'You kids. You think too much.'
It frightened me how shallow the gene pool was that Liam and I were wading in. — Julie Anne Peters

I don't know why I can't let the insults go, but I can't. I'm the product of every hurt that's ever been laid on me. — Julie Anne Peters

You will break God's heart if you throw His gift away. God has a heart? That's news to me. — Julie Anne Peters

I'm going to die a virgin. I like the thought if it. So pure. — Julie Anne Peters

Stop,' I tell her, stepping between her and the bag. 'Look what you're doing.' Jo gazes down at her hands as if they're not even attached to her body. She lowers them. She says, 'I've got a problem.'
'No shit,' I reply.
Her head lolls back and I can see she's hurting. 'I made you coffee.' I tell her, thumbing at the mug on the picnic table. 'Extra strong.'
She asks, 'Did you spike it with arsenic?'
'We're all out,' I answer. 'Unfortunately, all I could find was Excerdrin. — Julie Anne Peters

I hear you. I just don't believe a word you say. — Julie Anne Peters

I hope they remember the good stuff, when I was a baby, a toddler, when they still had hopes and dreams for their little girl, their miracle child. In truth they were good to me. They were only doing what they knew how to do; what they thought was best. — Julie Anne Peters

The worst is waking up in a hospital. Your parents are there, crying. Or your mother is yelling at the doctors and nurses. You come back wrecked. You ruin everyone's day. It won't happen again. I promise. — Julie Anne Peters

Would I cheat to save my soul? No. But to save my G.P.A.? Yes. — Julie Anne Peters

My parents will be sad for a while, and they may even blame themselves, the way they do now. Eventually they'll come to peace with my decision. I hope they'll realize I'm finally at peace. — Julie Anne Peters

You still have," I looked at my watch, "twelve seconds to change your mind. Find someone else and save your reputation." One side of his lip cricked up. "I found you. I'll take my chances. — Julie Anne Peters

I'm all she's got and if I don't make it this time ... You'll pass through the light. A ribbon of guilt twists my stomach. I'm all Kim and Chip have too. But the difference is, they'll be better off without me. — Julie Anne Peters

Do what, Kim? Lead a normal life? Too late. Way too late. — Julie Anne Peters

Then he did a strange thing. He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed my palm."
"I died. That was like the sweetest thing. — Julie Anne Peters

I never defended myself. Not once. I never said, "Excuse me? What gives you the right to insult and demean me?" I let them steal my dignity. — Julie Anne Peters

What I know is you can't go back. You can't press delete and re-key your life. — Julie Anne Peters

I wish I could tell my parents, If you want to help me, help me die. — Julie Anne Peters

There's always a way out. All you have to do is take it. — Julie Anne Peters

That same piercing screech in her voice every time at the hospital. "Do something!" When I slit my wrists. "Help her!" The last time too. "Somebody help her. Help us!" You're helpless, both of you. All of us. — Julie Anne Peters

Mom's eyes blazed. "Are you sleeping with her?"
Oh, god. Did we have to do this here? Now? "Well, actually," I smirked, "we don't get a lot of sleep. — Julie Anne Peters

If we'd found each other, though, the tormented, the weak and powerless, we couldn't bound together. What made me weak was the sense that I was alone. But maybe I wasn't alone. All the people on Through-the-Light, where were they? Living in dark space, the gray place. If we could've found each other sooner, would it have changed the outcome? — Julie Anne Peters

This is my vision-what I imagine I'll pass through on my way to the light. The blue sky, the clouds, the rays of light. — Julie Anne Peters

What can happen in a few minutes changes you forever. — Julie Anne Peters

You're running out of tomorrows.
Running out of tomorrows, I repeated to myself in my room, sprawling across my bed to begin another midnight marathon of homework. Sometimes I felt as if there were no tomorrows, that everything, my whole life, was crammed into one long day. A continuous stretch of meaningless time. Sometimes I even wished there was no tomorrow, if this was all I had to look forward to. (Chapter.10) — Julie Anne Peters

Sometimes I'd catch myself looking at my reflection in windows and wonder who I was. Where I was going. Then the image would change and it wouldn't be me, just some nebulous shadow person. — Julie Anne Peters

But I'm no hero. I had to keep my dirty little secret. The worst sin I committed was holding it in; letting the secret blacken me. — Julie Anne Peters

Arlo: Show her the ropes.
Finn: Where do we keep the ropes again? — Julie Anne Peters

Don't choose me. I'm not worth your time. — Julie Anne Peters

I didn't tell him. And I never told her the whole truth. What would it matter? There was nothing she could do; nothing anyone can do or will do. — Julie Anne Peters

She responds by kissing me harder and longer and deeper. She loves me too. She's just afraid. — Julie Anne Peters

Oh sure. Because we always talk about deep down stuff. — Julie Anne Peters

If I was alone I'd find something to do. Read or work on homework or doodle, fake it, so if I was alone it'd look like I wanted to be alone. — Julie Anne Peters

How will you be remembered? As a loner and a loser. — Julie Anne Peters

Secrets. I can't take then with me. If I do, when I go, when I arrive at my final destination, I'll be ... impure. — Julie Anne Peters

Most of all I'm mad at Swanee for dying and taking from me the most precious thing I ever owned. I didn't own her, but she was mine. Mine, Liana. Do you hear me? — Julie Anne Peters

You know what I do to forget the past? I drink my own special concoction. I call it Milk of Amnesia. — Julie Anne Peters

Girls scare me more than boys. Boys are cruel. Girls are mean. — Julie Anne Peters

I knew right then and there nothing was ever going to change. It wouldn't matter if I was tall or short or fat or thin or absent every day. I was a loser from birth. — Julie Anne Peters

The sad truth is, they should never trust me. — Julie Anne Peters

She was perfectly normal."
"What do you mean?"
I turned around again. "What do you mean, what do I mean?"
I clucked my tongue in disgust. "You know, normal. Happy, healthy. Someone with friends and family. Shelley had all kinds of friends. She was popular."
"So if you're not popular, you're not normal?"
"I didn't say that." Did I? — Julie Anne Peters

My pulse quickened. Was I? Gay, I mean? If so, what was I doing with Seth? Maybe I was bi. That would explain it. An open heart, willing to give and accept love wherever it came from. The feelings, the stirring, the awakening senses with Cece, though, I'd never experienced those with Seth. With any guy. (Chapter.12) — Julie Anne Peters

I suppose I'll be remembered as dull. Timid. No one ever knew me. People came. They went. I was kind, I think. Not sympathetic, but considerate of others. I always gave up my place in line. I loaned out pencils and paper, or let people take them from me. I never reported a sexual assault. — Julie Anne Peters

The future holds no hope or meaning to me. I know that by killing myself other people will suffer, but why go through this interminable hell? What's the point of being here if you feel unloved and abandoned by those you used to trust and count on? What's the point of living if you don't belong anywhere? — Julie Anne Peters

She smiled. "You did. And my gaydar never lies. Although later, I thought you might be bi." No, I wasn't bi. I was sure of that now. The depth of desire - it was unbelievable. That, and the certainty of this being right. Being me. — Julie Anne Peters

I just want the pain to end. — Julie Anne Peters

You would never understand, Kim. You think I'm normal; you wish I was. — Julie Anne Peters

How does he do it? Live. With the fear of death every day. I don't fear death as much as I fear the thought of living. — Julie Anne Peters

...the man of my dreams is a girl. — Julie Anne Peters

She's still doing it, pushing me into situations I can't handle, making me cope. She knows I can't cope. — Julie Anne Peters

What will I become? Because I won't be me any longer. That will be a relief. I dont want to be the helpless person I've always been. — Julie Anne Peters

I hated him. I hated them all. They made me hate myself even more than I already did. — Julie Anne Peters

People don't change. There are two kinds of people in the world: winners and losers. Black and white. I don't know where gray fits in, or if you can even live in that shade. — Julie Anne Peters