J.R. Rain Quotes & Sayings

Perhaps he'd been in heaven. Perhaps he'd been playing on streets paved with gold. Or, more likely, playing Xbox with Jesus. Only — J.R. Rain

Silence speaks louder than words. — J.R. Rain

Detective Sherbet loved his boy. Of that there was no doubt. That he had been worried sick that his young son was showing early signs of homosexuality was almost comical. With that said, I had been touched by Sherbet's ability to come to terms with the concept. If anything, he loved his boy even more. — J.R. Rain

If the listener is not ready for the truth, it will fall upon deaf ears. — J.R. Rain

It is on those mist-filled nights, when the wind is strong and curious, when the air is alive with something unseen but felt, that you finally believe ... oh, yes, you finally believe what your heart has always known: magic is real and it is everywhere. - Diary of a Pagan — J.R. Rain

I'm not half vampire. I'm just strong like a vampire. Like Mom." "That's the half part, buttface." "You're the buttface, buttface." "You can't say buttface twice, buttface." "You just did!" I rolled my eyes and checked my watch. They had gotten along for all of two hours. Better than nothing. — J.R. Rain

My first thought was that a tornado had somehow picked me up and carried me off, like in the Wizard of Oz. No old witches pedaled by, and I didn't see any flying farm animals or chicken coops, and after a few agonizing minutes, I fell deep into unconsciousness again. — J.R. Rain

I try not to think that death might really just be losing one's mind forever. So scattered that it never comes back. — J.R. Rain

You'll be in good hands with the colonel, you'll see.
The colonel? Okay, I was obviously stuck in a Gone With the Wind theme park. Or maybe a Kentucky Fried Chicken farm.
Or I was simply hallucinating ... — J.R. Rain

Once I study up on them and the case, I always feel closer to the victims. That closeness drives me to find them or their killers. As if the dead speak to me from within the pages of the case files. — J.R. Rain

But dogs are going to be dogs, ya know? You can't get mad at them for being dogs. I — J.R. Rain

Well, not anymore, I said, and shot Lady Goo-Goo Eyes another hard stare, — J.R. Rain

Dedication This book is dedicated to mothers everywhere: Our amazing, selfless, unsung heroes. Love you, ma. — J.R. Rain

I guess us folks in California are kind of straitlaced and old-fashioned.
Hahaha, I thought on the way downstairs. I never thought I'd say those words with a straight face ... — J.R. Rain

We discussed my retainer, and learned that the women had all pooled their money together to hire me. So I told her that I was having a special. The first two weeks were free. She seemed relieved and put her checkbook back. Now, I thought as she shuffled off, I just need to find the perv in two weeks. — J.R. Rain

If I hear any more loud voices, you will both be auctioned off on eBay. I could use the extra money. — J.R. Rain

So are we stalking your ex-husband?"
"I'm a licensed private investigator," I said. "I'm licensed to stalk."
"Really?"
"In most cases."
"What about this case?"
"In this case," I said. "We're stalking the hell out of him. — J.R. Rain

Am I right in thinkin' you've maybe been" - he dropped his voice - "the victim of an infamous outrage by the darkies? — J.R. Rain

Life on earth is our chance to grow, to learn, to observe, to interact, to trust, to give and to receive. — J.R. Rain

Tell me, Mrs. Moon, will your need for sustenance trouble you on this excursion? How often do you need to feed? I couldn't tell whether his interest was scientific, or whether he was afraid I might plunge my teeth into his throat at any moment. — J.R. Rain

I was dressed in khaki shorts, a surfing T-shirt and white Vans. Coupled with my amazing tan and disarming smile, I was surprised I wasn't more often confused with Jimmy Buffet. If Jimmy Buffet stood six foot four and weighed two hundred and twenty. "You — J.R. Rain

Sure," said my sister. "I mean you can't go to hell, because you don't die. You can be as evil as you want. I think I would probably kill off most men." "Most?" "I would leave the pretty ones." "Oh, brother," I said. — J.R. Rain

Is that all?" asked the butler. His slightly melodic accent was nearly impossible to place. It could have been British, but it wasn't any British accent I had ever heard. The words Old English came to mind, too. As in old, old English. This, I'm certain, was a psychic hit, but I could have been wrong. Just how old Franklin was remained to be seen. "Thank you, Franklin. That will be all," said Kingsley, waving him off. The butler nodded. "If you and the lady need anything else, please do not hesitate to rouse me from a deep and satisfying sleep." "We won't, Franklin. Now, off you go! — J.R. Rain

You only come when you're working on a case?" "Something like that," I said. "You would prefer I came more often?" He looked at me from over his non-steaming cup of coffee. "Yes," he said simply, and I found his answer oddly touching. "So am I to assume you are working on a case now?" "You — J.R. Rain

Kingsley got up, and as he did so, he flashed me the goods. Whether he meant to or not, I don't know ... but holy sweet Jesus. Did I really just see that? My God, how did he walk around with that thing? Kingsley, defense attorney, werewolf - and now, apparently, pervert - sat next to me and gave no indication that he had just given me the mother of all peep shows. "I'm going to let you in on a little secret," he said, and knocked back the rest of his wine like it was booze-flavored Kool-Aide. "It's not a secret," I said. "And it ain't little." "Excuse me?" "Never mind." But I caught the smallest of shit-eating grins on his face. "Go on," I said, shaking my head. "And this time try to keep the robe closed. — J.R. Rain

Was I altering the 'space-time continuum' or whatever they called it in time travel movies, just by existing right now? Perhaps I'd accidentally kill a mosquito that might have given some famous person a disease that killed them? — J.R. Rain

You're never alone, Sam. Ever. As hard as life might seem, there's always hope. There's always a way, and there's always love. Always. — J.R. Rain

For a friendship to work, both people have to want the same thing. Both people have to want to be friends. — J.R. Rain

These days, I do not have the strength or energy to even be negative. These days, I just am. — J.R. Rain

A marriage shouldn't have to be so much work. Love shouldn't crush your soul. A relationship should add to your life, not take away from it. — J.R. Rain

When you're sick and dying, the ego is and should be the first thing to go. I know there're gurus who teach people how to release the ego, to conquer the ego. I get it now, but I didn't back when I was healthy. It's moot now. The guy who falls off the toilet and knocks himself out no longer has an ego. — J.R. Rain

We knoooooow," said Anthony, laying his head on the table. "You told us like a Brazilian times." "Bazillion," Tammy corrected. "Brazil is a state." "Country," I said. "Whatever, — J.R. Rain

Oh, and it also features God. Yes, God. The Creator. The Lord Of All That Which Is And Is Not. The God of the Earth below and the sky above. The God of the Moon and the stars and Cher. No, I'm not high. At least, not at the moment. Oh, and he doesn't like me calling him God. He prefers Jack. Yes, Jack. Again, I'm not high. Let — J.R. Rain

The dude who didn't seem to care that he smelled like wide-open ass. — J.R. Rain

So what would happen if I broke in? Would a wart appear on my nose? Would a she-devil manifest in a swirl of black smoke to drag me down to hell? Would Lady Gaga apparate and give me a make-over? — J.R. Rain

Reminder: Dump Brains and Bowels in Hazmat Bin! — J.R. Rain

We all know more than we give ourselves credit for. The problem is, there's too much surface shit that gets in the way, too many clouds obscuring our thoughts, filling us with worry and doubt and fear. It stops us from tapping deeper within ourselves. — J.R. Rain

I could still see some blood caked on at the back of his whitish paws. Doggie stigmatas. I carefully held out my hand. Junior nervously leaned forward, sniffed it instinctively. He looked at my hand, then up at me, then he rested his furry jaw in my open palm. Next to me, I heard Cindy crying softly. Girls. — J.R. Rain

She wasn't always a demon," he finished. "She was my mother once. — J.R. Rain

He was about an inch shorter than me, about half the width of me, and certainly not as good looking. Not everyone can be me. Who — J.R. Rain

I smiled engagingly and showed her my investigator license. A hell of a picture. "Doesn't look like you." "It's me, I swear." I struck a similar pose, turning my head a little to the side, and blasted her with the same full wattage smile. "See?" She shrugged. "The guy in the picture is cuter." I wasn't sure if I should be offended. After all, it was me in the picture, and she was calling that guy cute. "So — J.R. Rain

I put the carpetbag on a ledge, and then, hanging upside down by my razor-clawed feet, slept until sunset. A first for me, and actually quite comfortable.
Lord help me. — J.R. Rain

I opened the bag of Oreos and commenced my training, bulking up with one Oreo after another. I washed them down with swigs from the bottle of scotch, as a real man should. When I was tired of the Oreos, after about the thirtieth, I took out a cigarette and tried like hell to give myself lung cancer. — J.R. Rain

I surveyed the others, who had all stopped in their tracks. So what was the plan, boys? You were all going to get a fuck in? The very definition of sloppy seconds - hell, sloppy thirds and fourths and fifths. Than what? Slit my throat? Leave me for dead? Let some school janitor find me stuffed in a dumpster? You would deny my children their mother for one night of cheap thrills? — J.R. Rain

All of it gleamed in haphazard array, and most was covered by cobwebs from centuries past, along with layers of dust and grime. — J.R. Rain

now. They were spirits in their purest forms. Some called them orbs, and sometimes they showed up on photographs. Many non-believers assumed such orbs were dust on the lens. But the camera could never fully capture what I could see. To my eyes, the balls of light were alive with energy, endlessly forming and reforming, gathering smaller particles of energy around them like mini-black holes in outer space. — J.R. Rain

She unconsciously pulled her sticky shirt away from her skin and grimaced, as if sweating through her clothes was distasteful. — J.R. Rain

Men tend to think all of their points were good, and they sure as hell didn't need me to boost their already inflated egos. — J.R. Rain

reached down through the closed wooden lid and struck a key. A minor key, I think. — J.R. Rain

She stared at me. "I'm sure there's more to it than that, Ms. Moon." I was fairly certain that if she had a ruler, she would have rapped my knuckles with it. "Why — J.R. Rain

Do you drink blood?" His tone was challenging. I felt like a daughter confronted by her father about smoking weed or drinking booze. "I — J.R. Rain

You're very attractive," I said, certain I would have been blushing had I the blood to do so. "That is, for someone who is encased in flesh." Nice pink envelope you have there, I thought. She — J.R. Rain

My philosophy is this: Life is too short to work another minute at a job you don't love. — J.R. Rain

Are you ready, baby?" I asked her. "I'm ready, daddy." "Follow my lead," I said. "Like old times." "Like old times," she said. The — J.R. Rain

He released the guy, who charged me instantly. One punch for every dog to have ever been thrown overboard to the sharks. One punch for every shark who'd been butchered alive. One punch didn't settle the score. But it sure as hell felt good. I hit him just under his right eye, so hard that I heard his cheekbone shatter. — J.R. Rain

What the fuck is a scone?
It's Irish, I think, for stale bread. — J.R. Rain

I have fourteen black wives an' one white, de chiefest one. I would sure enough shoo her away dis minute if you tek her place in my bed tonight, Mama Sam Moon.
Was sex all these people ever thought about? I guess life was short back then, and nobody had much time to waste on anything else. — J.R. Rain

I believe spirituality is a very personal and individual experience that varies from one person to the next. — J.R. Rain

This place is spooky. What kind of family is this? And why are there so many relatives living in this one mansion? And why do they all look as if the Terminator T-800 used his futuristic medical advances to impregnate the She-Hulk, and out comes Dial and all his relatives one after the other?" "Vividly — J.R. Rain

I had been a happy normal wife and mother in Orange County until ten years ago, when I was attacked by an evil vampire ... and turned into one myself. It's made my life since gross and scary and, let's face it, weird. — J.R. Rain

Hell hath no fury like a man embarrassed by a woman — J.R. Rain

Again, I didn't blame her. I was a big man. A big handsome, athletic and sensitive man. Have — J.R. Rain

Yeah, he fought like a crazy man. His face twisted. And, no, he didn't hit her. At least, not in the memories I saw. But he was verbally abusive. — J.R. Rain

Sleep is a blessing. — J.R. Rain

His domed head was perfectly buffed and polished, cleanly reflecting the halogen lighting above. — J.R. Rain

All that Anne Rice crap is true, I thought on my way out the door; New Orleans really does have a vampire problem.
Besides me, of course. — J.R. Rain

I was unlovable in his eyes and so therefore I was unlovable in my own eyes. — J.R. Rain

And I can't wait to see what your mother thinks about all of this, too." I paused, shaking my head. "No one stops to consider their mothers. It's a pity." "You — J.R. Rain