Doug Larson Quotes & Sayings

Few things are more delightful than grandchildren fighting over your lap. — Doug Larson

For every little kid who still believes in Santa Claus, there is at least one adult who still believes in professional wrestling. — Doug Larson

Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it. — Doug Larson

The trouble with the last snowfall of the season is that you can't be sure. — Doug Larson

Achieving it is not only the chief means of adding to your regular duties. — Doug Larson

How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night? — Doug Larson

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it. — Doug Larson

Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own. — Doug Larson

The real secret of patience is to find something to do in the meantime. — Doug Larson

Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties. — Doug Larson

Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible. — Doug Larson

The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment. — Doug Larson

There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 am. It could be a right number. — Doug Larson

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. — Doug Larson

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush. — Doug Larson

They should have picked a different city to name after a man who reputedly never told a lie. — Doug Larson

An alibi is a reason with a bad reputation. — Doug Larson

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend — Doug Larson

Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours. — Doug Larson

There must be a happy medium somewhere between being totally informed and blissfully unaware. — Doug Larson

A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except to be able to grow in rows — Doug Larson

Fancy Restaurant: one that serves cold soup on purpose. — Doug Larson

A lifetime isn't nearly long enough to figure out what it's all about. — Doug Larson

Bad news travels fast. Good news takes the scenic route. — Doug Larson

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse. — Doug Larson

If the English language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur — Doug Larson

A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself. — Doug Larson

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success! — Doug Larson

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon. — Doug Larson

A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience. — Doug Larson

A child is a person who can't understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten. — Doug Larson

The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others. — Doug Larson

The reason people blame things on previous generations is that there's only one other choice. — Doug Larson

Setting a good example for your children does nothing but increase their embarrassment. — Doug Larson

It's a wise person who knows the difference between free speech and cheap talk. — Doug Larson

Nostalgia: A device that removes the ruts and potholes from memory lane. — Doug Larson

A clean basement, garage and attic are signs of an empty life. — Doug Larson

Nostalgia is a file that removes the rough edges from the good old days. — Doug Larson

To err is human; to admit it, superhuman. — Doug Larson

Autumn is a season followed immediately by looking forward to spring. — Doug Larson

Democracy is a system that gives people a chance to elect rascals of their own choice. — Doug Larson

A perfect example of the power of prayer is when a blizzard closes the schools on the day of a big exam. — Doug Larson

The trouble with class reunions is that old flames have become even older. — Doug Larson

The aging process has you firmly in its grasp if you never get the urge to throw a snowball. — Doug Larson

One nice thing about telling a clean joke is there's a good chance no one's heard it before. — Doug Larson

In debating the respective merits of dogs and cats, not having to walk a cat when it's 20 below zero deserves consideration. — Doug Larson

Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you'd have preferred to talk. — Doug Larson

Law of Airlines: The shorter the time between flights, the greater the distance between gates. — Doug Larson

The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools. — Doug Larson

Real elation is when you feel you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe. — Doug Larson

People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage. — Doug Larson

Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept. — Doug Larson

Sometimes opportunity knocks, but most of the time it sneaks up and then quietly steals away. — Doug Larson

The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate. — Doug Larson

Heredity is a splendid phenomenon that relieves us of responsibility for our shortcomings. — Doug Larson

The idea that no one is perfect is a view most commonly held by people with no grandchildren. — Doug Larson

There's nothing like having grandchildren to restore your faith in humanity. — Doug Larson

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. — Doug Larson

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles. — Doug Larson

What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of living high. — Doug Larson

It's your ability to inspire and uplift other people that matters, not your ability to outdo them. — Doug Larson

Utility is when you have one telephone, luxury is when you have two, opulence is when you have three - and paradise is when you have none. — Doug Larson

Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible. — Doug Larson