Daniel Pinkwater Quotes & Sayings

Writing and telling are almost the same, the way I do it. — Daniel Pinkwater

If the English had deep-dish pizza they could have kept their empire. — Daniel Pinkwater

I sort of always like to write starting with when I learned how. — Daniel Pinkwater

I have to remind myself that I've always known this: Evolution is not for everybody. — Daniel Pinkwater

The Story of the Rabbit and the Eggplant
Once there was a race between a rabbit and an eggplant. Now, the eggplant, as you know, is a member of the vegetable kingdom, and the rabbit is a very fast animal.
Everybody bet lots of money on the eggplant, thinking that if a vegetable challenges a live animal with four legs to a race, then it must be that the vegetable knows something.
People expected the eggplant to win the race by some clever trick of philosophy. The race was started, and there was a lot of cheering. The rabbit streaked out of sight.
The eggplant just sat there at the starting line. Everybody knew that in some surprising way the eggplant would wind up winning the race.
Nothing of the sort happened. Eventually, the rabbit crossed the finish line and the eggplant hadn't moved an inch.
The spectators ate the eggplant.
Moral: Never bet on an eggplant. — Daniel Pinkwater

The standard Chicago hot dog comes with everything you need to sustain life . . . until the bright green pickle relish catches up with you and you die. — Daniel Pinkwater

Well you know, it's true that as a fat person I run a greater risk of heart disease, diabetes, and a number of other things. But guess what? The amount of that risk is almost infinitessimal! — Daniel Pinkwater

Children make better readers than adults. They read as carefully as I write; adults read as a means of getting off to sleep. I get letters saying 'I have read your book seventeen times.' If you're an adult novelist and you get that letter, you should be afraid. You're being stalked. Kids always read them seventeen times! — Daniel Pinkwater

The old saw about old dogs and new tricks only applies to certain people. — Daniel Pinkwater

I've said this before, and I say it again. Bagels can be an enormous power for good or for evil. It is up to us to decide how we will use them. — Daniel Pinkwater

Incidentally, I don't know how late you were planning to stay, but there is an excellent film this evening The Snake Pit. It's a wonderful comedy. I've seen it several times. — Daniel Pinkwater

I mean
no offense, Leonard, but you really don't like to climb ropes, and get into the Marine Corps, and kill your countriy's enemies, do you?"
I said that it wasn't one of the big goals of my life.
"Well, maybe you'd like me to get you into this corrective gym class, where you can study toe dancing, and grow up to be a little Commie, sissy boy," Mr. Jerris said.
I told him I would like that just fine ... — Daniel Pinkwater

The activities of these parasites and degenerates gave rise to Cubism, Fauvism, Futurism, Pointillism, Constructivism, Orphism, Surrealism, Dada, and also Impossibleism, Supersurrealism, Dynamic Double-Dog Realism, Ishkabibbleism, and Mama, which is like Dada only nicer. — Daniel Pinkwater

Looking back over my life so far I am able to remember specific days that were perfect. These tend to be days, and parts of days, in which nothing in particular happened, except that I was utterly happy. — Daniel Pinkwater

I believe it is impossible to make sense of life in this world except through art. — Daniel Pinkwater

Of course, an unchanged mind is a little like unchanged underwear. It tends to get unattractive even to the person whose mind or underwear it is. — Daniel Pinkwater

All my books were easy to write - doesn't it show? — Daniel Pinkwater

Ignorance is nothing to be ashamed of - until you find out you've got it. Once you realize you're ignorant, if you don't do something about it, then you have the right to feel ashamed. — Daniel Pinkwater

Trust me, there is no formula for most things that are not math. — Daniel Pinkwater

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Eat pudding. Books are good. Eat pudding. If kids read a lot. Eat pudding. They'll get so they can think clearly. Eat pudding. And if enough kids read and think. Eat pudding. We will have world peace. Eat pudding. Thank you very much. Eat pudding. — Daniel Pinkwater

Chickens have an uncanny sense of direction. — Daniel Pinkwater

I changed his name after I saw this old movie at the Snark. It's called Nosferatu, and it's the original Dracula story. It's ten times as scary as the version you see on television. The guy who plays the vampire is really bizarre. — Daniel Pinkwater

Some women have said, 'Gee, here I am getting involved with this fat guy, what will people think of me?' But they were converted and sometimes surprised. — Daniel Pinkwater

Mr. Breton didn't know about location, location, location. — Daniel Pinkwater

Read a lot. Write a lot. Have fun. — Daniel Pinkwater

My house is me and I am it. My house is where I like to be and it looks like all my dreams. — Daniel Pinkwater

I'd always liked to write, but I never wanted to be a writer, because it seemed a sissy occupation. It is. To this day, I find it terribly easy. And so, rather than trying to hunt up a text, I just wrote one. — Daniel Pinkwater

I went to college, but I learned to write by reading and writing. — Daniel Pinkwater

I imagine a child. That child is me. I can reconstruct and vividly remember portions of my own childhood. I can see, taste, smell, feel, and hear them. Then what I do is, not write about that kid or about his world, but start to think of a book that would have pleased him. — Daniel Pinkwater

The difference between that man and me," Alan Mendelsohn said, "is that I am a connoisseur, and he is a fanatic. — Daniel Pinkwater

Hoboken is a neat place. — Daniel Pinkwater

Today is the yesterday you won't remember tomorrow. — Daniel Pinkwater

Werewolves are much more common animals than you might think. — Daniel Pinkwater