Alan Zweibel Quotes & Sayings

Secure the radius! — Alan Zweibel

I haven't written a brochure yet. It's killing me. I know I have a brochure or pamphlet in me yet. — Alan Zweibel

Whether it's an innate ability or an acquired way of regarding the world around us, being labeled as funny can only be accepted as a compliment. — Alan Zweibel

I wasn't a class clown, I just found at an early age that I was able to make people laugh. So I mostly wrote funny stuff instead of writing what I was supposed to be writing. — Alan Zweibel

Writers are lucky. Whatever the mood, no matter the longing, the writer can use his words to connect himself to any world he wishes to visit. — Alan Zweibel

I've been very lucky. I've written for most of my idols and the contemporaries. — Alan Zweibel

It's an intangible thing, this thing we call talent, especially if we're in a position to teach and mentor others. — Alan Zweibel

I write. This is what I do. My job is to sit down with my vocabulary, select words, and decide what order they should be placed in an attempt to keep someone's attention and perhaps provide them with a laugh or two along the way. — Alan Zweibel

I am not an actor. Yes, every so often I appear on talk shows to promote something I've written, and I enjoy doing so because I have a lot of stories to tell, and I like making audiences laugh. But that's not acting. That's just me being me. — Alan Zweibel

I've had a bris, was Bar Mitzvahed and, on occasion, have referred to a temple as a shul. I've never denied it, nor have I disguised it. I am, indeed, a Jew. — Alan Zweibel

Writers are born, not made. We can hone the craft. We need to try to encourage someone and make a dialogue, suggesting ways to do something differently or how to improve. — Alan Zweibel

I've been writing for people long enough to know that it has got to feel comfortable coming out of their mouths, especially when you're doing something that is first person and is so near and dear to you. — Alan Zweibel

My job is to put words together and tell a story. If that doesn't work for you, it's not a war crime. — Alan Zweibel

Lust fades, so you'd better be with someone who can stand you. — Alan Zweibel

I experimented with my own one-man show a couple of years ago in Aspen when HBO used to have their comedy festival there. I called it 'A History of Me.' — Alan Zweibel